1. Wish the Bride and Groom Well: In the receiving line, that is. Don’t expect to engage either of them in an extended conservation during the wedding festivities. They need to mix and say hello to all of their guests—which means that they can’t stay with anyone person for a very long chat.
2. Read the address on the invite: It will let you know exactly whom is being invited to the wedding. If your children’s names aren’t listed, it means that the couple does not wish to include children. If you are single and the invitation does not read “and guest,” then they are limiting their invitation to you only. While it may not seem fair to you that you can’t bring a partner, the couple may have had to make difficult financial decisions when it comes to the guest list. Do not call them and ask if you may bring your children or a guest if they are not listed on the invitation; this kind of asking puts your hosts in a very awkward position.
3. Reserve your hotel room early: Couples generally reserve blocks of hotel rooms near the wedding location at discount prices. Once you RSVP, go ahead and book your hotel room. If you’ve waited too long and the reserved rooms are already all taken, go online and find another hotel in the area.
4. Do your research: If the wedding is being held in a location that you’re not familiar with, go online and learn all about it. While the bride and groom may make some general suggestions about places to go to and things to do while you’re in town for the wedding, take it upon yourself to plan your itinerary.
5. If plans change, let the bride and groom know: Unexpected events happen to all of us. If your boss lets you know the week before that she needs you to go on a business trip the weekend of the wedding, let your hosts know immediately. Often the couple will need to give the caterer a final number a few days in advance of the wedding and canceling your meal(s) can save them hundreds of dollars. It is also important to let them know if you can’t stay for the reception so that their seating chart is not thrown off. It’s most awkward for guests to arrive at their table only to find out that the rest of their table mates are “no shows”!
6. Arrive on time: On the wedding day, make sure to arrive at the ceremony site at least 15 minutes before the ceremony is to begin so that you can sign the guest book and find your seat. If you do arrive late, take a seat in the back and try to slip into your seat as inconspicuously as possible. As at a theater or concert, never unwrap candies or chat during a ceremony.
7. Learn about the faith tradition: If the couple is being married in a Catholic church and you’ve never been to a Catholic wedding before, read up about Catholic ceremonies before you arrive. Again—the internet makes all of this research so easy for us today. It helps to know a bit about the customs and traditions that you will see, so that you can follow the ceremony easily.
8. Mix and mingle: After the ceremony, get to know other guests. Introduce yourself and ask about their relationship to the bride or groom. The couple wants everyone to have a good time and each guest can help make the celebration that much more festive by “breaking the ice” with others at the party.
9. Listen intently: When it’s time for toasts, speeches or cake-cutting, pause from your conversation to give your attention to what’s going on. This may sound like common sense, but unfortunately it is a rule of social decorum that is not always followed.
10. Have fun, Be responsible: Enjoy the festivities—but stay responsible for your behavior. Don’t drink so much that you become sloppy or rude. If you are drinking, make sure that you have someone else who can drive you home from the reception.
11. RSVP promptly: Don’t let that reply card get lost in your pile of mail! Your hosts are waiting for your response to finalize seating charts and other important arrangements. As soon as you know if you are able (or not able) to attend, send back the RSVP card.
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